Abundance Blog at Marelisa-Online

How to Become a Renaissance Man/Woman

July 2nd, 2008

(”Plato & Aristotle”; courtesy of Muli Koppel)

“Renaissance Man/Woman”, “Uomo Universale”, and “polymath” are terms that are often used interchangeably to describe a person with broad or varied knowledge or skills—covering both arts and science–and who strives to develop their capacities to their full potential. This ideal developed in Italy during the Renaissance, a period that spanned roughly from the 14th through the 17th century, from the notion expressed by Leon Battista Alberti– architect, painter, poet, author, scientist, mathematician, and skilled horseman– that “a man can do all things if he will.” That is, men and women should seek to develop their skills in different areas of knowledge, as well as in physical development, social accomplishments, and in the arts. By following the example of famous polymaths, you too can become a Renaissance man or woman.

Some of the best known Uomini Universali are the six men below:

Aristotle (384–322 BC)

The Renaissance, as its name implies, was the rebirth or recovery of ancient learning, specifically, of the Greek and Roman cultures. Above all other writers of antiquity, Plato and Aristotle were studied intensively by the upper and middle ranks of society in Renaissance Italy.

Aristotle was born in Stagira, Macedonia in 384 BC. Charles Van Doren explains in his book, A History of Knowledge: Past, Present, and Future, that Artistotle was sent to the Academy in Athens in 367 BC and spent twenty years there as Plato’s most famous pupil. Plato, in turn, had immortalized his teacher, Socrates, in his work, “Great Dialogues of Plato.”

Later, Aristotle would tutor Alexander, the son of King Philip of Macedonia who went on to become Alexander the Great, for three years. Aristotle is credited with inventing the science of logic, and he made many useful observations about natural things, politics, ethics, and morality. His book, “Organon” deals with the laws of thought, with logic, and with philosophical method.

A good mentoring relationship will provide you with knowledge and expertise in any field you choose to excel at. Like Aristotle, look for the experts in your area of interest and learn all you can from them. If you don’t have immediate access to experts in your chosen field, read any books they’ve written and gain the necessary knowledge that way. In addition, once you become an expert, it’s your turn to pass your expertise on to someone else.

Leonardo da Vinci (1452–1519)

(”Leonardo da Vinci”; courtesy of _ Krystian PHOTOSynthesis (wild-thriving) _)

Leonardo Da Vinci was endowed with beauty, grace, physical strength, a fine singing voice, and talent in abundance; he was a painter, sculptor, engineer, astronomer, anatomist, biologist, geologist, physicist, architect, philosopher, actor, singer, musician, and humanist. In addition, he was a man of soaring imagination and was entranced by human nature.

It is said that while Leonardo was executing a painting of the Last Supper for the Dominicans of Santa Maria delle Grazie in Milan, the prior kept pressing Leonardo to hurry up and finish the work. The prior, puzzled by Leonardo’s habit of sometimes spending half a day contemplating what he had done, complained to the Duke of Milan, Ludovico Sforza. Giorgio Vasari indicates in his book, The Lives of the Artists, that when questioned by the duke, Leonardo explained that “men of genius sometimes accomplish most when they work the least; for, he added, they are thinking out inventions and forming in their minds the perfect ideas which they subsequently express and reproduce with their hands.”

Michael Gelb explains in his book, How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci: Seven Steps to Genius Every Day, that Leonardo was an innovator, he was curious, he was an experimenter, and he was always seeking new experiences. His notebooks are full of sketches in which he tries to take nature apart in order to understand it, including drawings of human anatomy—it is said that he dissected corpses to be better able to draw the human body—, detailed flowers, and birds in flight.

There are many lessons you can learn from Leonardo da Vinci: use your imagination to come up with solutions to problems; take time for contemplation; develop an appreciation of music, painting, architecture, and sculpture; study human nature; be curious; experiment; also, don’t simply believe what others tell you, go see for yourself.

Nicolaus Copernicus (1473 – 1543)

(”Toru? - Nicolas Copernicus Monument”; courtesy of Arrnau)

Nicolaus Copernicus was a Polish mathematician, astronomer, physician, classical scholar, translator, Catholic cleric, jurist, governor, military leader, diplomat and economist. At the time of Copernicus it was widely believed that the sun revolved around the earth. Copernicus worked for many years on his theory that the planets in our solar system revolved around the sun. Charles Van Doren indicates that Copernicus studied all the old Greek astronomical texts he could find, and it was there that he discovered that a rotating earth and a heliocentric system had been proposed by a number of Greek astronomers. Right before his death, Copernicus published his work, titled “De revolutionibus Orbium Coelestium”, in which he set forth his heliocentric theory of the planets.

Follow Copernicus’ example and study everything that you can in your chosen field. Furthermore, review the contributions of your predecessors and contemporaries, criticize what you believe to be wrong, adopt what you believe to be valuable, and set forth your own theories.

Galileo Galilei (1564–1642)

(”Galileo Galilei Statue in Florence”; courtesy of FrogMiller)

Galileo Galilei was an Italian scientist, philosopher, and, as Charles Van Doren explains, he was the leading mathematical physicist of his age. He also excelled at lute playing and painting. In 1609 he learned of the recent invention of the telescope and proceeded to make a telescope of his own and improved it to the point that it was better than any existing instrument. In March 1610 he published a 24-page pamphlet called “The Starry Messenger”, in which he described what he saw when he turned his telescope toward the sky. In addition, in his pamphlet he announced his sympathy for the Copernicus system. “The Starry Messenger” astonished and troubled the learned world.

Daniel J. Boorstin, author of The Discoverers explains the importance of Galileo’s discovery as follows: “Without the telescope the heliocentric theory might long have remained an interesting but unpersuasive hypothesis. Now the telescope made all the difference . . . Astronomy was transformed from a preserve of arcane theories in learned language into a public experience.” Even though his ideas caused much controversy, Galileo continued publishing works in which he defended the theory that the earth was not the center of the planetary system. However, at the age of 70 and gravely ill, Galileo Galilei was called before Pope Urban VIII and was condemned to be silent. In the long run, of course, Galileo won.

Remember that new ideas are often violently opposed at first. Follow Galileo’s example and don’t be afraid of controversy. If you know that you’re right hold your ground regardless of attacks from critics.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 – 1832)

(”Goethe SM”; courtesy of tabootenente)

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, “the master spirit of the German people”, was a scientist, philosopher, novelist, and critic, as well as a poet. “Faust”—Goethe’s masterwork–was begun in the 1770s and completed nearly 60 years later. Charles Van Doren indicates that “Goethe, knowing that the work would require of him all of his imagination, knowledge, and experience, therefore gave his whole life to it.”

What is your life’s masterwork? What will require all of your imagination, knowledge and experience?

Thomas Jefferson (1743 – 1826)

(”Thomas Jefferson - grave marker”; courtesy of deane_crilley)

Thomas Jefferson’s list of achievements is as long as incredibly varied. Jefferson was a philosopher: he was a champion of representative democracy and the rights of man; supporter of religious freedom; advocate of public education; and supporter of equal rights and education for women. He was a also a lawyer, a diplomat–U.S. Minister to France–, author of the Declaration of Independence, Governor of Virginia, Secretary of State under George Washington, Vice-President under John Adams, and two-term President of the United States. He designed Monticello–his home–, as well as the University of Virginia. In addition, he played the violin, he was an inventor, an accomplished horseman, a writer, and a pioneer in scientific farming. Jefferson’s collection of books was such that when the Library of Congress burned down in 1814 during the War of 1812, he sold his collection to the government so that the library could be rebuilt.

At a dinner honoring Nobel laureates, John F. Kennedy is quoted as having said: “I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together in the White House—with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.”

What can you invent to help make this world a better place? What injustice do you see that you can help make right? Add to the knowledge of the world: once you’ve learned everything that you can in your area of expertise, and performed all of the experiments you can think of, write a book and share what you’ve learned with the world at large. In addition, learn a second language and seek to cultivate an athletic ability, whether it be jogging, playing tennis, rock climbing, and so on.

Conclusion

Most people’s business cards include their name and a single line underneath describing what they do, such as:attorney at law, obstetrician, or interior designer. Imagine a business card that can say all of the following about you as well: published author, accomplished public speaker, athlete, guitar player, autodidact, defends the rights of the underprivileged, philosopher, contributor to the knowledge of the world, and inventor. There’s a man/woman of the Renaissance inside each of us waiting for us to live up to our full potential.

– Marelisa

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How Gratitude Can Change Your Life

June 30th, 2008

(”Thank you . . . “; courtesy of j_jyarbrough)

Go read my article, “How Gratitude Can Change Your Life” over at “The Change Blog”.

– Marelisa

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Posted in Simple Pleasures | 10 Comments »

The Sound of Laughter

June 30th, 2008

(”Only his laugh . . . “; courtesy of emiguez65)

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” e. e.

Laughter is a physiological response that involves rhythmic and involuntary action, and denotes merriment, happiness, or joy. Over the past several years countless studies have been conducted that show the positive effects that laughing has on one’s physical and mental health. Laughter is one of the body’s best coping mechanisms for the normal stress of life, and is also conducive to increased problem solving abilities and creativity. Some of the many benefits associated with a hearty laugh are the following:

– Laughter causes you to gulp in large portions of air, thereby oxygenating your blood.

– Stress may be a contributing factor in up to 90% of all illnesses. Laughter decreases stress hormones in the body such as cortisol and adrenaline, thus helping to stave off illness.

– Laughter strengthens the immune system.

– When we laugh our bodies release hormones and chemicals that have positive effects on our system. One of these chemicals is endorphins, the feel-good hormone. Because laughter increases the level of endorphins in the body, it’s a natural pain killer.

– One minute of laughing burns the same number of calories as 6 to 10 minutes on a treadmill. In addition, laughter is gentle exercise. It fills your lungs and body with oxygen, deep-clears your breathing passages and exercises your lungs.

– Laughing raises your mood; joyfulness through laughter is the fastest way to create a positive state of mind. Laughter also helps to combat depression.

– Laughing is good for the heart and improves blood circulation.

– Researchers at the University of Maryland conducted a study in which participants were split into two groups: one group of participants was shown comedies and the other group was shown dramas. After the screening, the blood vessels of the people in the group that watched the comedies behaved normally — expanding and contracting easily. However, the blood vessels of the people in the group that watched the dramas tended to tense up, restricting blood flow.

– Laughter is anti-aging! It tones facial muscles and increases blood supply to the face, which nourishes the skin and gives it a healthy “glow”.

– One study involving 19 people with diabetes looked at the effects of laughter on blood sugar levels. On the first day, after eating, the group attended a tedious lecture. The next day, the group ate the same meal and then watched a comedy. After watching the comedy the group had lower blood sugar levels than they did after attending the lecture.

– Internal organs are stimulated when you laugh which enhances efficiency of vital organs and improves digestion and bowel movement.

– Because laughter increases the secretion of endorphins, it can help reduce cravings for chocolate and other comfort foods.

– When used in conjunction with conventional care, laughter can reduce pain and aid the healing process. Norman Cousins, a prominent political journalist, author, professor, and world peace advocate, details in his memoir, “Anatomy of an Illness”, that after being diagnosed with a painful condition called ankylosing spondylitis he would watch Marx Brothers films to help him ease the pain. He reported that 10 minutes of laughter allowed him up to two hours of pain-free sleep.

– Laughter creates and strengthens human connections.

– Daniel Goleman, author of “Emotional Intelligence”, had the following to say about laughing and creativity: “The intellectual benefits of a good laugh are most striking when it comes to solving a problem that demands a creative solution. One study found that people who had just watched a video of television bloopers were better at solving a puzzle long used by psychologists to test creative thinking.”

If you want to take a laughter break, watch this YouTube video (water bed prank, very funny).

“Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.” — Josh Billings

– Marelisa

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Posted in The Simple Life | 13 Comments »

Inspiration Sunday, June 29, 2008

June 29th, 2008

(”Book Cover of ‘A Return to Love’, by Marianne Williamson”; courtesy of nojam75)

This is the second post in a new feature at “Abundance Blog at Marelisa-Online”: Inspiration Sunday. It consists in sharing with you poems, stories, or quotes that I find inspirational and that I hope you’ll find inspirational as well. Below you will find a quote from the book “A Return to Love - Reflections of the Principles of A Course in Miracles” by Marianne Williamson. (This quote has been incorrectly attributed to Nelson Mandela in his Inaugural Speech of 1994). Enjoy this beautiful quote:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.

There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so

that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other

people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.”

– Marianne Williamson

Related Post: Inspiration Sunday, June 22, 2008

– Marelisa

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Sleep Extravaganza - 40 Tools, Tidbits, & Resources to Help You Conquer Sleep

June 27th, 2008

(”To Sleep”; courtesy of magpie-moon)

Imagine this: you go to bed around 10:00 p.m. at night; it takes you a few minutes to fall asleep; you sleep soundly through the night; in the morning your alarm clock goes off at 5:30 a.m.; you immediately wake up, shut off the alarm, stretch, and get out of bed; you feel well-rested and invigorated, ready to start your day; your energy level remains high all day until it’s time to go to sleep again.

Unfortunately, for most of us, the reality is more like this: you watch TV or work on your computer until 1:00 a.m.; it takes you awhile to fall asleep; you wake up several times during the night; the alarm clock goes off at 7:00 a.m.; you groan and ignore it for a few seconds; you hit the snooze button, roll over, and fall asleep again; you continue to hit the snooze button and fall asleep again several times; finally, you manage to pull yourself out of bed–feeling groggy and drowsy–and drag yourself to the shower; you spend most of the day wishing you could lie down and take a nap.

Below you will find 40 tools, tidbits, and resources to help you turn the first scenario into reality.

1. “How to Become An Early Riser” by Steve Pavlina

In this post, Steve Pavlina shares with his readers that in his early 20’s he rarely went to bed before midnight, and would almost always sleep in late and not function properly until the afternoon. Because he noticed a high correlation between success and rising early, he set out to become an early riser. He tried to create the habit of being an early rise for a number of years, without success. Steve then found that the optimal solution is to go to bed when he feels too sleepy to stay up, and to get up with an alarm at a fixed time—5:00 a.m.–every day of the week. So he always wakes up at the same time, but he goes to sleep at different times, almost always between 10:00 and 11:00 p.m.

2. “How to Become An Early Riser, Part II” by Steve Pavlina

Steve Pavlina explains that to apply correctly the principle of going to bed when you’re sleepy, you need a mixture of awareness and common sense. He refers to the onset of sleepiness as the moment in which your brain starts releasing hormones to knock you out. Steve admonishes that in order for this to happen you have to create the right conditions, which means giving yourself some downtime before bedtime.

3. “How to Get Up Right Away When Your Alarm Goes Off” by Steve Pavlina

Steve admonishes that you need to accept that you’re not going to make the right call at 5:00 a.m. The solution is to turn the whole thing over to your subconscious mind by practicing “waking up as soon as the alarm goes off” until it becomes rote. In addition, he adds that you should practice this during the day when you’re wide awake.

4. Polyphasic Sleep

Wikipedia defines “Polyphasic Sleep” as: “a sleep pattern specification intended to compress sleep time to 2-5 hours daily. This is achieved by spreading out sleep into short (around 20-45 minute) naps throughout the day. This allows for more waking hours with relatively high alertness . . .” You can read more about it on the blog post “Uberman’s Sleep Schedule”.

(”Close Your Eyes and Sleep”; courtesy of Ketosea)

5. “Rest Easy - Using All Your Senses to Get Sensational Sleep”

The author of this article—David Hamilton–explains that even as we sleep, our minds continue to respond to stimulants from all of our senses. Small amounts of light—such as that from a glowing alarm clock—can interfere with sleep quality, so he advices that you might want to consider a sleep mask. In addition, even noise that doesn’t wake you can disturb sleep, so the author suggests playing white noise, classical music, or other soothing tunes while you sleep. As for the sense of touch, choose loose, soft fabrics, and make sure you have a comfortable mattress. An aroma dispenser that changes fragrances or emits the same scent at intervals is also a good sleep aid. Popular scents for rest include chamomile, bergamot or lavender. He adds that according to the Mayo Clinic, a glass of warm milk really might help you fall asleep.

6. In order to get a good night’s rest, you can either make sure that your room is pitch dark, or you can wear a sleep mask. A good sleep mask that can be found on Amazon is the Sweet Dreams Contoured Sleep Mask.

7. Read all about the Land of Nod in Dr. Seuss’s Sleep Book (Classic Seuss). “A yawn is quite catching, you see. Like a cough. It takes just one yawn to start other yawns off.”

8. Set a reward: “After seven days of waking up at my target time I will _________ as a reward.”

9. Create a bedtime ritual.

A bedtime ritual is any series of actions you perform every night to help signal to your body that it’s time to sleep. An hour or so before your bedtime, take a bath or shower, wash your face, brush your teeth, drink some soothing herbal tea, put on your pj’s, and do something to relax you. The relaxing activity can be reading, relaxation techniques, such as yoga or muscle relaxation, knitting, completing a jigsaw puzzle, and so on. If you follow your nighttime ritual on a consistent basis, soon these will become mental signals that it’s time to sleep.

10. Want sleep advice from the Harvard Medical School? Get the The Harvard Medical School Guide to a Good Night’s Sleep (Harvard Medical School Guides) on Amazon.

11. Read advice from the sleep doctor—Michael Breus—at “The Insomnia Blog”.

12. As soon as you get up in the morning go outside and turn your face to the sun for fifteen minutes.

(”Ollie Sleeping”; courtesy of Gavatron)

13. Did you know that there’s a National Sleep Foundation? Who better to get sleep advice from?

14. Have you seen the movie “Sleep” by Andy Warhol?

“I could never finally figure out if more things happened in the sixties because there was more awake time for them to happen in (since so many people were on amphetamine), or if people started taking amphetamine because there were so many things to do that they needed to have more awake time to do them in… Seeing everybody so up all the time made me think that sleep was becoming pretty obsolete, so I decided I’d better quickly do a movie of a person sleeping. Sleep was the first movie I made when I got my 16mm Bolex.” — Andy Warhol

15. Here’s a book on Amazon that will show how to Sleep to be Sexy, Smart, and Slim.

16. Take up meditation to quiet your mind chatter, thereby having an easier time falling asleep. You can learn how to meditate by reading my post “Meditation in Ten Easy Steps”.

17. Leo Babauta from “zenhabits” explains “10 benefits from Rising Early and How to Do It “

Leo explains that switching from being a night owl to an early riser was a godsend. He lays out ten benefits of being an early riser, and gives tips to his readers on how to adopt the habit of getting up early. Among his advice is to start slowly, by waking just 15-30 minutes earlier than usual. Then, as you get used to this after a few days, cut back another 15 minutes. Do this gradually until you get to your goal time. Other suggestions include: going to bed earlier, even if you don’t think you’ll sleep, and read while in bed; putting the alarm clock far away from the bed, leaving the room as soon as you turn the alarm clock off, and having something significant to do as soon as you get up, such as devoting that time to your writing.

18. Noise is one of the biggest interferences to getting a good night’s sleep. You can use ear plugs or you can use a white noise machine, such as this one from Amazon: Marpac Sound Screen 980A Electro-Mechanical Sound Conditioner

19. Another alternative is to get a sunrise alarm clock that includes a white noise feature: BioBrite Sunrise Clock Advanced Model with White Noise, Pearl. By turning on a light gradually, this alarm clock simulates gradual sunlight to help you wake up gently and gradually.

(”Sleep”; courtesy of bitzcelt)

20. Learn how to “Fall Asleep in 30 steps” in this wikihow article.

21. And for even more tips : “Tips for Better Sleep During Bad Times”.

22. Read the “12 Top Tips to Fall Asleep Faster and Stay Asleep Longer”.

23. At Esquire Magazine, world-renowned “doctor Mehmet Oz” offers six steps on how to get a good night’s sleep every night.

24. And again from Esquire, a feature on learning how to sleep better.

25. Could a lack of sleep be making you fat?

26. This video will show you why it’s vital to stop hitting the snooze button. You’ll also see an alarm clock created by an MIT student that jumps off the night stand and rolls around on the floor so you have to get out of bed and chase it.

27. The site soyouwanna.com teaches you how to cure insomnia.

28. Have you heard of the site quamut.com? They’ll help you learn how to do everything from organize your home to learning a new hobby. Let them show you how to get a good night´s sleep.

29. You can get a watch at Amazon, the SLEEPTRACKER Pro Watch, that will wake you up within a specified time frame set by you, at the best moment of your sleep cycle to wake up (while you’re in light sleep).

30. Let Dave Navarro teach you “How to Improve Your Sleep and Feel More Rested”.

31. Also from Dave Navarro, “5 Tips to Recharge Your Body and Mind Overnight”.

32. The Silva Life System will teach how to reach the alpha level of the mind–the brain frequency associated with meditation and light sleep–in 60 seconds flat.

33. Use chamomile as a natural sleep aid.

34. Here are some common tips for getting better sleep:

• Beds are for sleeping. Don’t work, eat, watch TV, or perform any similar activities in bed.

• The effects of caffeinated beverages take several hours to wear off. Consider eliminating caffeine after lunch or cutting back on your overall intake.

• Change your bed sheets and pillowcases regularly.

• Regular exercise usually makes it easier to fall asleep and improves the quality of your sleep. Just make sure you don’t exercise close to your bedtime.

• Alcohol reduces the quality of sleep. Although it may make you drowsy and help you to fall asleep faster, alcohol reduces your sleep quality. To avoid this effect, stay away from alcohol in the last few hours before bed.

• Nicotine is a stimulant, so smoking disrupts sleep.

• If you wake up during the night and can’t fall asleep again don’t lie in bed tossing and turning. Instead, get up and do something to distract yourself, like reading, until you feel sleepy again.

• Don’t watch TV or work on the computer in the half hour prior to going to sleep since this will stimulate your brain and make it harder for you to fall asleep.

(”Sleeping In”; courtesy of cmrowell)

35. The Sedona Method will help you to let go of any negative emotions that may be causing you stress and interfering with your ability to experience restful sleep.

36. There’s more advice on “How to Get a Good Night’s Sleep” at the “Mahalo” site.

37. Another good source of information for getting and staying asleep is “The Journal of Sleep” .

38. You can even get a free newsletter on how to beat insomnia.

39. Emotional Freedom Technique, or EFT, is basically an emotional version of acupuncture, except needles aren’t used. Instead, you stimulate energy meridian points on your body by tapping on them with your fingertips. Here’s a video that will take you through an EFT routine to help you combat insomnia: “EFT and insomnia”. It’s very easy to do, just follow along with the video.

40. Hypnosis is another way to treat insomnia. Wendi Friesen is an excellent hypnotherapist and she has several programs available which you can purchase on CD’s, including one on getting over insomnia.

Editor’s Note: This article contains affiliate links.

–Marelisa

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Creating Your Dream Life: Your Thinking Style

June 25th, 2008

(”The Thinker” - Rodin Museum”; courtesy of Chris_In_Philly_’08)

“We are shaped by our thoughts. We become what we think.” Buddha

During the course of a day we have on average 60,000 thoughts. The thoughts that run through your head are either helping you to get what you want, or are keeping you from your potential. An important way to optimize your life is by making the most of your thinking. Below you will find five thinking strategies you can consider adopting, and I encourage you to always be on the lookout for other thinking strategies that will help you to create your best life.

Ask Better Questions

In “Living Your Best Life”, Laura Berman Fortgang suggests that you begin to ask yourself better questions. She explains that the questions that you ask yourself are like typing in a keyword or keyword phrase on “google” or “yahoo”. Your brain will simply search its resources and come up with possible answers. Therefore, she advises that you move away from questions in which you try to understand a problem, since this will only serve to recreate the drama, add details to a hurtful situation, and perpetuate an unresourceful state of mind. Instead, by asking what she calls “Wisdom Access Questions” (WAQ), you’ll be instructing your brain to access answers that have the power to move you forward. Some examples of WAQs are:

• What will help me get through this?

• What is the solution?

• What will get me what I want?

• What is the next best step I could take?

• What can I learn from this situation so that I can make the right choice in the future?

• What do I want?

• What am I building toward?

• What other choices do I have?

• What is the simplest solution here?

Fortgang explains that you have two choices: you can stay stuck—by asking questions such as: “Why did this happen to me?”; “How could he have done that?”; and “Why am I this way?”–or you can move forward, by asking WAQs like those listed above.

Accept Responsibility for What Happens to You

“Managing the power of choice, with all of its creative and spiritual implications, is the essence of the human experience . . . Choice is the process of creation itself.” — Caroline Myss

In his book, “Life Strategies”, Phillip C. McGraw (Dr. Phil) cautions that if you don’t accept responsibility for yourself and for your life you will misdiagnose every problem and will therefore mistreat every situation. Stop thinking of yourself as a victim and stop attributing your pain to an external source; instead, start concentrating on the thoughts, behaviors, and choices you can change to get a better result. Dr. Phil suggests that you remember the following:

• You choose where to be.

• You choose how to act.

• You choose what to say.

• You choose whether to go or stay.

• You choose whom to be with.

• You choose what to concentrate on.

• You choose what to believe.

• You choose what behaviors to take in reaction to different stimuli.

• You choose what you’re saying to yourself about the circumstances you find yourself in.

Optimal Thinking

In her book, “Optimal Thinking – How to Be Your Best Self”, Rosalene Glickman suggests that the best thinking strategy is neither negative nor positive thinking, but optimal thinking. Optimal thinkers have realistic expectations and focus on optimizing situations within their control. For example, if you’ve invested in the stock market and are having doubts about whether to stay in or sell and get out, you have three thinking options:

• Negative thinking: “Of course the stock market is going to come crashing down, now that I’ve decided to invest in it.”

• Positive thinking: “Well, I’m just going to trust that everything will turn out well in the end.”

• Optimal thinking: “What are the most constructive actions I can take right now under these circumstances?”

Set Up the Rules so That You Can Win

Here’s a story Anthony Robbins tells in his book “Awaken the Giant Within” of a conversation between Gregory Bateson—author of “Steps to an Ecology of Mind”—and Bateson’s daughter:

Daughter: “Daddy, how come things get muddled so easily?”

Bateson: “What do you mean by ‘muddled’ honey?”

Daughter: “You know, Daddy. When things aren’t perfect. Look at my desk right now. Stuff is all over the place. It’s muddled. And just last night I worked so hard to make it perfect. But things don’t stay perfect, they get muddled so easily!”

Bateson: “Show me what it’s like when things are perfect.”

Daughter: (Moves everything on her shelf into individually assigned positions.) “There, Daddy, now it’s perfect. But it won’t stay that way.”

Bateson: “What if I moved your paint box over here twelve inches? Then what happens?”

Daughter: “No, Daddy, now it’s muddled. Anyway, it would have to be straight, not all crooked the way you put it down.”

Bateson: “What if I moved your pencil from this spot to over here?”

Daughter: “Now your making it muddled again.”

Bateson: “What if this book were left partially open?”

Daughter: “That’s muddled too!”

Bateson: “Honey, it’s not that things get muddled so easily. It’s that you have more ways for things to get muddled. You have only one way for things to be perfect.”

Robbins goes on to explain that most of us have created many ways to feel bad, while we only have a few ways to feel good. Stop setting up endless rigid rules and requirements for yourself and for others to follow in order for you to feel satisfied. You don’t need to have rigid, almost-impossible-to-meet rules to be driven; instead, you should set up the game so that you can win. Follow Robbins’ advice and develop rules that encourage you to take action, that cause you to feel joy, and that cause you to follow through.

Keep Things in Perspective

In a previous post, “Five Tips for Dealing with Failure”, I wrote about the importance of keeping things in perspective and not overgeneralizing. The fact that you’ve failed at something does not mean that your life is over; it does not mean that your reputation is forever ruined and that you’ll never get another chance. Don’t make the situation bigger or more pervasive than it really is. Instead, remember the line that Abraham Lincoln made famous: “And this too shall pass . . .” In addition, focusing on what you have to be grateful for instead of what you lack will help you regain perspective.

Conclusion

In addition to the five strategies described above, there are many other ways in which to improve your style of thinking so that your thoughts help you to create a life of joy and serenity. For example, another strategy is to stop taking things personally–what others say and do is about them, not about you.

Still another strategy is to learn to reframe negative situations as a positive. Reframing means to change the meaning of a situation and to look at it from a different point of view. Here’s an example: if you greet someone and they don’t greet you back, you can choose to think: “He didn’t say ‘hi’ back, there must be something wrong with me.” Or, instead, you can reframe it in the following way: “He probably didn’t hear me”; “I guess he didn’t realize I was talking to him”; or, “It looks like he’s having a bad day”.

There are many ways to begin to align your thoughts with the life that you want to create for yourself. Start paying conscious attention to your thoughts and look for ways to make your thoughts work for you, instead of working against you.

What thinking strategies do you follow that serve you well and keep you motivated?

Which of your thinking strategies brings you down and makes you want to give up?

Editor’s Note: In my previous post “Decide What You Want”, I listed http://www.quamut.com as a great resource for finding ideas for creating your best life. “Quamut” is having a national sweepstakes where one lucky winner will win $5,000.00 towards their how-to dream. The “How-To Dream Sweepstakes” will run through July 15, 2008. Go sign up for the sweepstakes, no purchase necessary, and good luck! (One caveat: you have to be a US resident.)

– Marelisa

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Decide What You Want

June 23rd, 2008

(The “Will You Still Love Me in the Morning?” photograph is courtesy of manfrommanila).

“The indispensable first step to getting the things that you want out of life is this: decide what you want.” — Ben Stein

The first step in creating your ideal life is to decide what you want. Think of the best life you can possibly imagine and list everything you would like to have, do and be—-both small and large, and even outrageous–in the next 30 years. You’re going to create your ideal scenario for each major area of your life. Ask yourself the following question: What would my life look like if I could have it anyway I wanted? I suggest that you divide your life into the following eleven areas:

1. Finances
2. Learning/Personal Development
3. Vocation/Career/Contribution
4. Love/Romance/Passing on Your Genes
5. Social/Interpersonal/Community
6. Home
7. Spiritual
8. Fitness/Health
9. Style/Personal Appearance
10. Travel/Adventure/Fun
11. Possessions

Spend a month or so collecting ideas for your ideal life vision. Cut out pictures from magazines, mail order catalogues, postcards, and brochures. In addition, visit the following websites for inspiration:

http://www.squidoo.com/100things

http://soyouwanna.com/

http://superviva.com/

http://www.howstuffworks.com/

http://www.about.com/

http://quamut.com/

http://www.expertvillage.com/

http://www.flickr.com

http://www.stumbleupon.com/

http://www.amazon.com

http://www.43things.com/

http://www.your100things.com/goals/

http://www.triplux.com/dayzero/

As you go through these resources, think about the following for each of your life areas:

Finances

What would you like your net worth to be? When would you like to retire? How much money do you need to finance your life goals? What investments would you like to make? Are you going to create multiple streams of income? Are you going to invest in stocks and/or bonds? Are you going to invest in real estate? Are you going to hire a financial planner? Is your goal to create enough passive income so that you don’t have to work another day in your life?

Learning/Personal Development

What skills would you like to acquire? What courses or seminars would you like to attend? What books would you like to read? Would you like to read self-help books such as “Getting Things Done”, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, “The 4-Hour Workweek”, and “The Now Habit”? How about reading every book that has won a Pulitzer prize or the complete works of Shakespeare? Do you have a list of 100 movies you’d like to watch?

What languages would you like to study? Would you like to: become fluent in French; learn conversational Spanish; learn Mandarin; or learn Latin?

Would you like to learn to play a musical instrument? Do you want to take a dance class?

What are your thinking strategies? Does your thinking style serve you well? Would you like to develop a different mindset? Do you need to learn how to master your emotions?

Vocation/Career/Contribution

What do you want to do? What do you want to contribute? What would you like to be known for in your profession? What kind of impact would you like to have? What could you create? What contributions do you dream of making? What does your work day look like? What is your ideal work environment? Would you like to be self-employed? Would you like to start a business and then have others run it for you? Would you like to create an online business?

Would you like to write a book, make a documentary film, have an art exhibit, or release an album?

Love/Romance/Passing on Your Genes

What would you like your relationship with your partner to be like? Do you want to get married? Do you want to be a parent? How would you create a home with an inviting, joyous, comfortable, loving atmosphere? How would you raise a happy and healthy child?

Social/Interpersonal/Community

What kind of organizations would you like to be involved in? What qualities and values do you want your friends to have? What kind of activities would you like to participate in with your friends?

Do you want to volunteer or participate in charitable organizations? Would you like to build a Habitat for Humanity Home, join the Peace Corps, join a Big Brother, Big Sister Program, volunteer at a homeless shelter, or mentor someone at work? Is there a particular group of people you would like to help, such as the people of Darfur, teenage mothers, children with leukemia, and so on? Are you interested in looking for ways to reduce your ecological footprint?

Home

What is your perfect home environment? Do you want to live in a beach house, a house by the lake, a Colonial house, or an apartment? What would you like to see, hear, and smell when you walk into your home? What is the view from the window? How much space would make you comfortable? What kind of decor do you enjoy? What objects would you like to be surrounded by? Would you like a session with a closet organizer? Do you want to have a garden? Do you want to have a swimming pool? Do you want to have a fireplace? What are must-have features for your dream house?

Spiritual

What would make you feel spiritually fulfilled? Would you like to start meditating? Would you like to take up yoga, tai chi, Qi Gong, participate in a Native American Sweat Lodge Ceremony, become a Reiki master, or take up another healing practice? Do you need to heal old wounds? Do you need to learn to forgive?

Fitness/Health

What is your ideal weight? What are your fitness goals? Are there any athletic goals you would like to achieve? Would you like to do any of the following: run a marathon; become a tri-athlete; learn archery; learn to play golf; go kayaking; go horse-back ridding; learn to ski; take up fishing; learn to play tennis; learn karate; or try fencing?

What is your ideal diet? Would you like to eat only organic foods? Would you like to become a vegetarian? Would you like to try the raw food diet?

Style/Personal Appearance

What clothes/shoes/accessories would you like to own? What’s your personal style? What clothes make you feel comfortable and attractive? Do you want a Chanel or an Armani wardrobe?

Travel/Adventure/Fun

Where would you like to go? Do you want to travel the world first class, staying in five-star hotels and dining in the finest restaurants? Would you like to visit the Grand Canyon, Victoria Falls, the Serengeti, the Great Barrier Reef, the Galapagos Archipelago, the Amazon Rainforest, or the Fjords of Norway? Would you like to party at Mardi Gras in New Orleans, participate in Carnival in Rio de Janeiro, greet the New Year at Times Square in New York, or go to Oktober-Fest in Germany? What cities do you dream of visiting? How about Jerusalem, Athens, Las Vegas, Chicago, Beijing, Buenos Aires, Berlin, London, Paris?

What museums would you like to visit? How about El Prado, the Uffizi Gallery, the Hermitage, the Louvre, the Musée de l’Orangerie, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the British Museum, or the Van Gogh Museum.

What adventures would you like to have? Would you like to ride in a hot air balloon, go paragliding, go sky diving, go on a helicopter ride, go snorkeling or scuba diving, swim with sharks, ride a mechanical bull, go rock-climbing, go bungee-jumping, go white-water rafting, drive a race car, or learn to fly a plane? Would you like to visit the wreckage of the Titanic aboard a submarine or go to the moon with Virgin Galactic?

What hobbies would you like to take-up? You can choose from learning to juggle, learning to play chess, learning to play poker, learning to play pool, taking up photography, learning to make pottery, learning to sculpt, learning to paint or draw, making mobiles, making models of cars, ships or planes, restoring a classic car, jewelry making, beading, sewing, knitting, and so on.

Possessions

What would you like to own? What kind of car would you like to drive? Do you want to own a boat? Are there any electronic gadgets you would really like to have? Would you like to simplify your life? Do you need to get rid of clutter? Would you like to collect art, have a demitasse collection, or collect Russian nesting dolls?

Conclusion

Record all of the information that you gather during your month-long search for ideas on what your ideal life would look like. On the 23rd of July–exactly one month from today–we will discuss the next steps to take to make your ideal life go from the drawing board to reality. Be ready!

– Marelisa

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Inspiration Sunday, June 22, 2008

June 22nd, 2008

(”Maya Angelou - March 28, 2008 7:30 PM St. Sabina African American Speaking Series”; courtesy of Saint Sabina Photos)

This Sunday I’ve decided to try a new feature on “Abundance Blog at Marelisa-Online”: Inspiration Sunday. It consists in sharing with you poems, stories, or quotes that I find inspirational and that I hope you’ll find inspirational as well. To start off, below you’ll find the poem “Phenomenal Woman” by Maya Angelou.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need for my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal Woman,
That’s me.

– Maya Angelou

Related Post: 75 Skills Every Woman Should Master

– Marelisa

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The Elasticity of Time (Part 2)

June 20th, 2008

(The “Sand Clock” photograph is courtesy of mirol).

One of Albert Einstein’s most valuable contributions to our knowledge of the universe is his theory of relativity. When asked to explain it in one sentence, Einstein laid it out as follows: “Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.” This is the second in a series of articles that will teach you how to take advantage of the elasticity–or relativity, if you will–of time.

Start thinking of yourself as having the power to determine, to a large extent, how quickly—or how slowly–you achieve the outcomes that you’ve envisioned for your life. In her book, “Do Less, Achieve More”, Chin-Ning Chu tells the story of a night in the 1960’s in which Clint Eastwood and Burt Reynolds were dining together. At that time, while Clint was already a famous star, Burt was still a struggling actor. Burt asked Clint how he had gotten his big break and Clint answered: “I prepared myself for success”. Burt understood the principle contained in these words, he applied it, and he soon joined Clint as one of Hollywood’s biggest stars.

In order for you to speed up the time it takes to achieve the things that you want in life, consider doing the following:

Get Organized

A disorganized, cluttered environment is an unnecessary distraction that will steal your time. You’ll spend your hours endlessly looking for misplaced items and continously ruminating over the fact that you need to get organized. By organizing and decluttering you’ll be designing an environment in which you can thrive, create, and move toward living your optimal life.

Getting organized is about setting up your space so that it reflects who you are and what’s important to you. Your space should be arranged in a way that brings you comfort and joy, and in a way that is functional and helps you in achieving your goals. In addition, organizing is about creating systems that are a good fit for you—that is, that are intuitive and natural for you—so that you’ll stay organized. An organized home and working space will create an environment that welcomes success.

Record How You Spend Your Time

Create a time log and spend an entire week writing down exactly what you’re doing with your time. You’re going to place your activities under a microscope in order to be able to answer the following question: “where is my time going?”

- Do you have friends who call you constantly to whine about problems they’re doing absolutely nothing to fix? How much time are you devoting to these phone calls?

- Do you spend a lot of time complaining to others about your own life?

- Are you wasting time watching sitcom re-runs on TV?

- Does completing your work take you longer than it should because your computer is slow?

- Do you waste a lot of time because of car trouble?

- Do you waste precious time in the morning digging through your closet desperately hoping to find clothes that are clean and ironed?

- Do you go to the grocery store every other day instead of planning what you’re going to eat for the week and buying in bulk?

Once you know where your time is going you can identify where you’re using your time effectively and where it’s being sucked away by others, your possessions, your bad habits, or your inability to plan. The next step is to take action in order to plug the leaks. Just as a ship that is full of leaks will have trouble reaching its destination–if it doesn’t sink along the way–if your time is leaking away it will be that much more difficult for you to achieve your goals.

Set Deadlines

Parkinson’s Law states that a task will expand in time and seeming complexity depending on the time you set aside for it. Go through each task on your to-do list and estimate how much time it’s going to take you to complete said task based on historical data—that is, the amount of time that it’s taken you to complete that task in the past. If you’re tackling a particular task for the first time, simply make the best guess that you can as to how long it will take you to complete it. Make sure that large tasks are divided into subtasks and that you assign a time frame for each subtask.

Write down the task on a piece of paper and record the time you estimated it would take you to complete the task, as well as the time it actually took you to complete it. If the task took you longer to complete than you had estimated, make a note as to why. Now think of the process that you followed to complete the task and see if you can simplify it in some way so that the task takes less time to complete the next time you do it. By setting constraints you’ll be reigning in the time it takes you to complete the tasks necessary to create success in your life.

Learn to Manage Your Emotions

In his book, “Emotional Intelligence”, Daniel Goleman explains that emotional aptitude is a meta-ability. That is, it effects how well we’re able to apply or put to work our other talents and abilities. Having the ability to soothe yourself, shake off irritability and anxiety, and being able to accurately read the emotions of others are vital in getting ahead in life. On the other hand, not being able to self-soothe and let go of negative feeling can lead to many wasted hours stewing in unproductive emotions. Not being able to get along with others can be an obstacle in obtaining necessary information and in getting any collaboration or cooperation that you might need in order to move your projects along. By learning to manage your emotions you’ll be freeing up countless hours and even days, weeks, and months.

Set Boundaries

People who don’t know how to set boundaries often discover that they don’t have time to do what’s important to them. In addition, they often feel overwhelmed, stressed, tired, and resentful. Inability to set proper boundaries can include all of the following:

- Failing to set a clear delineation between work and home life, which can result in being constantly “on the clock”.

- Having poor internal boundaries and thus letting what other people think of you and your abilities affect you negatively.

- Over-committing to others and under-committing to yourself.

- Being unable to say “no”.

Boundaries spring up from your lifestyle, your self-care, and your self-awareness. In addition, Karla McLaren, creator of “Energetic Boundaries”, suggests that in order to create strong boundaries when it comes to others you say the following to yourself often: “I’m focused, I have things to do, and I’m on my way.”

Conclusion

Oprah Winfrey once said during an interview that the saying “you’re never given more than you can handle” applies not only to bad things, but to good things as well. You need to set up your life so that you’re ready when good things come your way; you can do this by organizing your space, budgeting your time wisely, controlling the amount of time you spend on any given task, managing your emotions, and setting proper boundaries. Use your time, stretch your time, manage your time, and safeguard your time in ways that encourage opportunity to come knocking on your door.

– Marelisa

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50 Ways to Celebrate Life Every Day

June 18th, 2008

(The “watercolor Haftsin . . . Happy Norouz” photograph is courtesy of my paintings).

“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.” —Anonymous

Make a goal to celebrate life in some way, however small, every day. Below you will find a list of 50 simple joys to help remind you to slow down, celebrate life, and enjoy the moment!

1. Have afternoon tea “alfresco”. Find a small coffee shop with tables set up outside; or pack a picnic basket—filled with iced tea, chicken salad from the deli, scones, and a warm, crusty loaf of French bread–and head out to the park.

2. Go for a bike ride.

3. Plant pots of brightly colored flowers; you can choose to plant camellias, violets, and geraniums. For fragrant blossoms plant jasmines.

4. Adopt a child through Christian Children’s Fund or any organization that helps children in need and that you trust. Is there a better way to celebrate life than by lending a helping hand to a child?

5. Renew a relationship with someone you’ve lost touch with.

6. Create a collage of pictures of your loved ones, frame it, and hang it up in a visible spot in your home.

7. Blow bubbles.

8. Get a delicious, gooey brownie and savor every morsel.

9. Arranging beautiful flowers in a vase is a simple, exquisite pleasure.

10. Give someone you love a gift “just-because”. Better yet, make it a care package or a gift basket filled with their favorite things: flavored coffee, a great coffee mug, and the book they’ve been wanting to read; microwave popcorn and all of the “Indiana Jones” movies on DVD; their favorite scented bath products; and so on.

11. Get your picture taken by a professional photographer.

12. Create a butterfly garden in your yard by choosing butterfly-friendly plants.

13. Stretch out on your couch with a compendium of your favorite cartoon, read it through from beginning to end, and laugh until your stomach hurts.

14. Join a session of a “laughter yoga” club.

15. Whistle.

16. Learn to bake peach cobbler.

17. Eat berries fresh from the farmers’ market.

18. Hunt for bird nests. When you find one, don’t touch it, just look.

19. Start taking small steps to help the environment: car pool; recycle glass bottles; use pieces of scrap paper to write down your grocery list; change all of the light bulbs in your house to fluorescent light bulbs; and so on.

20. Make a donation: donate your time at a food shelter; invest in a third world country entrepreneur through www.kiva.com; donate blood; donate clothes you no longer use to a battered women’s shelter; donate children’s books to a hospital nearby; celebrate life by paying it forward.

21. Listen to Vivaldi’s “The Four Seasons”.

22. Sing in the shower.

23. Do something that gives you a sense of luxury. You can get a leather notebook to jot down your thoughts, or a beautiful fountain pen. Start collecting fanciful note cards so that you have them on hand when you want to send a hand-written “thank you”.

24. If you love reading, join a book club. Sharing your love of literature with others is a great way to celebrate life.

25. Watch the sunset.

26. Watch the sunrise.

27. Drink champagne for no reason at all.

28. Wear audacious underwear. Nobody has to know.

29. Buy a bird feeder—or even better, build one—and hang it in a place where you can see it often.

30. Go outside at night—or climb up to your building’s rooftop—and look at the stars.

31. Stop and really listen to a street musician.

32. Go to a pet shop and “ooh” and “aah” at the puppies and kittens.

33. Simmer apple cider, cinnamon, and cloves in water on your stove.

34. Play a game you loved as a child: play with marbles or jacks; jump rope; play hopscotch; draw with colored chalk on the sidewalk; get some Play-Doh; or go to a park and climb on the swings.

35. Whenever you take on a task at work ask yourself: “Is there any way to make this task more pleasurable?”

36. Write a love letter to your partner.

37. Enroll in a dance class–modern dancing, belly dancing, ball-room dancing, salsa dancing, etc.; you can go alone, go with a couple of friends you wish you could get together with more often, or go with your partner.

38. Sit down with a large art book filled with Impressionist paintings by artists such as Monet, Renoir, Sisley, Pisarro, Degas . . .

39. Find a shampoo and conditioner that smell like watermelon.

40. Walk barefoot in the grass.

41. Go out for a walk in the rain. Deliberately step in puddles.

42. Visit antique stores and flea markets until you find the perfect brass knocker for your front door, one that makes you smile every time you’re about to enter your home.

43. Buy the softest terry cloth robe you can find and put it in the drier just before taking a shower, so that it’s nice and warm when you get out of the shower and put it on.

44. Get a bright red umbrella.

45. Go out for a walk and take your camera along; take photographs of interesting faces.

46. Listen to jazz.

47. Eat your favorite cereal from when you were a child: Fruit Loops, Lucky Charms, Honey Nut Cheerios, Cap’n Crunch, etc.

48. Listen to your favorite “Beatles” songs.

49. Count fireflies at dusk.

50. Throw open the windows and yell out at the top of your lungs: “thank you”!